I attended a peer counselor training last week and after three days of waking up extra early, getting the kids ready, dropping them at a friend’s for the day, driving an hour and a half, “working,” commuting back home, picking up the kids, helping with homework, making dinner, packing lunches, doing dishes and laundry and baths, putting the kids to bed–I’m exhausted! Honestly, I don’t know how you work-outside-the-home moms do it!
Recently Jared and I had a conversation about motherhood and my “work” and this little business of mine. Sometimes I get down on myself, falling into the worldly trap of thinking being a stay-at-home mom isn’t “good enough.” I don’t know if it’s imagined, or if the judgement is really there–but I often feel others are looking down on me for my choice to be a full-time mom instead of investing in a paying career. Times like these are when I selfishly think maybe I need to do more, take on more, BE more.
This morning, even earlier than my alarm goes off, I heard little feet pattering across the wood floor to the bathroom. A few minutes later I heard rustling and soft singing, and soon bedroom lights went on and three little munchkins were up. Initially I was annoyed. It was SOOO early still, and pitch dark outside. Sleep is so valuable these days. What were they doing awake already? I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow, as if to hide from the perceived nightmarish morning I was about to have with three still-tired children. Or at least a still-tired mommy.
But soon six little feet pattered across that wood floor, blankets in tow, to climb up on my bed for a morning mommy cuddle. A little bit of arguing ensued about who was going to fit where. A miniature two-year-old voice even bossily shouted “my mommy” to her older siblings. But eventually we all got comfy (enough) for a few moments.
While the cuddle only lasted a minute (my freshly showered and dressed husband emerged and they were ready for daddy time), I remembered something Jared said to me during our nightly talk. Although this stay-at-home mommy stuff isn’t always glamorous, fun, or even fulfilling, we both believe it’s what’s best for our family right now. Jared, who’s also supportive of me following my passions said, “I think the most important thing for you to accomplish is having our kids know you love them.”
It puts things in perspective, you know? Because truly, my kids don’t really care what I do. They don’t care if I have an online store, what my college degree is in, how many blog followers I have, or that I’m PTA president. They don’t even care if I make great dinners instead of boxed macaroni and cheese.
They just want morning cuddles, stories, tickles, laughs, and love. They want to know that they are safe, and cherished. They just want me. And so no matter how many other things I get involved in outside my home, I always want to remember that while the pay is low and the benefits are just hugs and kisses, being a mom to these little ones is my best job of all.