Lessons Learned from Weeding

For the first time in I-can’t-remember-how-long I woke up and didn’t feel the urge to puke so after a quick cereal-and-fruit breakfast the kids and I headed out to weed our somewhat neglected garden. I take that back. . . it’s not really been neglected, it’s just that my enthusiasm (and therefore the kids’s) for this little garden has waned as it’s become so hot and humid.

In any case, we headed out to the garden for another much needed weeding session. The kids stayed beside me for a bit–digging with their little shovels and pulling out the unwanted sprouts, but they lost interest quickly and found the trampoline much more entertaining.

I never thought this would be true, but as I listened to them play, I actually found weeding alone to be kind of relaxing. The mindless monotony of the chore created space for me to think, and as I did, my thoughts started forming analogies about weeds and raising plants, and raising kids. Just a few of my thoughts. . . .

1. It takes time, patience, and care.

From what I’m learning about this first little gardening experience of ours, growing crops takes a lot of time, a lot of patience, and a lot of care. It’s probably true that I could have planted my seeds and then just left the sprouts alone to see if they would grow, thrive, and produce. But if I want to have a beautiful, full harvest, or eventually be the kind of gardener like my admirable neighbor down the street, I have to put more effort into my crop.

Isn’t parenting the same? Just as the act of planting a few seeds doesn’t make me a gardener, the act of having a baby (or four!) doesn’t really make me a mom. Or at least not a good one. If I expect these sprouts of mine to thrive and mature, they need that same time, patience, and care.

2. I must weed.

Even though I weeded the garden recently, I must do so again. And again. And again. Similarly, as a parent, there is a need for me to constantly pull those uninvited worldly weeds that keep creeping into our lives.

• That TV show/video game/computer program/etc. is not appropriate for our family. {Pull.}
• Those are not kind words. {Pull.}
• I know some kids do, but in our family, we . . .  {Pull.}

Some days are backbreakingly exhausting but I know if we want our sprouts to keep growing  toward The Sun we–their earthly gardeners–have to stay vigilant and consistent in providing the kind of positive atmosphere they will thrive in.

3. There is a season for everything.

This summer we have continually weeded and watered and fertilized, but despite our efforts, the broccoli is dying. I wasn’t sure why. . . everything else seemed to be growing fine. But then a friend and fellow gardener informed me that it’s dying because I planted it in the wrong season.

This concept of everything having a season has been a lesson I’ve struggled to learn over and over. When Jared and I were dating we knew we wanted kids, so once we were married and started “trying” we assumed it would be easy. But for us it wasn’t the right “season” and it ended up taking a few years longer and a bit more “fertilizer” than we expected. It was emotionally draining and I wasn’t always patient, but looking back, I’m grateful we had that “waiting” time to grow as a couple. We were able to graduate from college, begin careers, buy our first home, and in a sense–prepare the soil for the planting season of our future family.

When that first little sprout finally did come, my season of school teaching ended and the season of motherhood began. We had always planned for me to be a stay-at-home mom if the time came. I was and am thrilled that I am able to experience this season of life, but will also be the first to admit that this mommy-stuff isn’t always an easy season! Some days I would gladly trade the tantrums, messes, and bed-wetted sheets for that career. But because I believe there is a time and season for everything, I feel that for my family, being the full-time gardener is the best choice right now.

Parenting and gardening are hard, hard jobs. I’m learning how to do both. I have so far to go, but pray every day that our efforts will be enough to produce.

For more gardening adventures, visit The Inadvertent Farmer.