One of our favorite books lately is Yes Day, a story about one day of the year in which all of the main character’s requests are granted. Pizza for breakfast? Yes. Staying up late? Yes. Picking the cereal at the grocery store? Yes.
I believe saying “no” is definitely part of healthy parenting, and while my kids may not like it, I have the greater perspective to know established boundaries and reasonable nos are best for them, and best for our family.
Donuts for breakfast? No, that’s not a healthy choice.
Stay up late? No, your body is growing and you need more rest.
Dump every toy we own? I don’t think so! You need clean up as you go.
At the same time, I think there are way too many times I say “no” just because I’m not in the mood, it’s too messy, I’m tired, or busy.
My kids have been asking to have a “yes day” of their own lately, and so I thought spring break would be a good time to grant some wishes. The night before we made a list of everything they hoped to do and they certainly had a lot of requests! I set some boundaries though, and explained that while I was going to do the best I could to say “yes” to the things on their list, it was mommy’s “yes day” too, and so they needed to say “yes” to the things I asked of them as well. The day surprisingly went really well, and we had a very fun, very full day with few tantrums–a huge accomplishment for me with three children under age five.
Just a few highlights from our Yes Day:
Pizza and Popsicles for breakfast? Yes
Help mommy unload the dishwasher? Yes
Blow bubbles? Yes
Watch a movie? Yes
Go to Target and choose a new toy? Yes (with a $ limit)
Go to the fabric store with mommy (and not whine about it)? Yes (well, almost . . .)
Go to the park? Yes
Cooperate while mommy takes pictures? Yes
Play on the computer? Yes
Have a sword fight? Yes
Get Happy Meals? Yes (a BIG deal since we NEVER do this!!)
Go out for ice cream? Yes.
Sometimes I feel like the bad guy because I’m with them all day, enforcing rules, and then daddy comes home and saves the day with tickles and wrestles and romps. So it was good for me to have a day where I could be silly, and spoil a bit, and show them mommies can be fun too.
In fact I loved our day so much we may just make Yes Day an annual spring break tradition!
What about you? Are you a “yes” mom or a “no” mom? Is having a Yes Day something you’d like to try?
What an awesome idea! I feel the same way sometimes. I especially love that you told them it was YOUR yes day too, haha. I’ll have to try this sometime. 😉
I used to be more of a “NO” parent, but my perspective has slowing been changing. I’m not trying to say yes to everything, but I pause now before I say no and ask myself the questions that you said were often reasons for you, too – do I want to say no because I’m tired and don’t want to deal with it? Or is there a legitimate reason? I now try to pick my battles and look at the big (eternal) picture, and I find that when I do this, EVERYONE in the family feels better. 🙂
I totally get this post. Lately I have been working on saying yes more or negotiating so that my daughter knows that I when I really have to say no, I mean it.
That is so awesome, Pamela!! I feel like I say no all the time. What a fun idea! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
Oh I am definitely a NO mummy. I WANT to be a yes type mum, and I’m working on it too. School holidays are coming up for the kids, so I might just take your suggestion and run with it. Will let you know how it went.