Teaching kids how to set and accomplish goals takes a little creativity and consistency, but if we can help them learn this behavior NOW — the habits will propel them into success in their future.
How We Help our Kids Set and Accomplish Goals
Every year, usually in January (though there’s nothing magic about the beginning of a new year) our family has a “goal-setting & vision-board-making party” with snacks, a stack of old magazines, markers, glue and lots of brainstorming. It’s one of my FAVORITE family traditions.
We dream big and giggle about ideas we have for the upcoming months. This is a “brain dump” time and any idea is a good one.
And although it’s tempting (and probably my instinct reaction), I try not to be “dream crusher.” All ideas are written down as this is the time to think big about what they want to learn or do where they want to go.
Visualizing Those Goals
Then we take the ideas talk about what their goals LOOK like as we pull out stacks of old magazines, markers, and/or computers and find or create images to represent the “goals.”
I love the creative process of sorting through old magazines to make a cut-and-paste collage for my vision board. But my husband and some of our kids prefer finding the “perfect” clip art or Google image to represent their goal.
So the rule in our family is that there is no “right way” to create a vision board.
This year we encouraged our kids to break their goals into four categories: Spiritual, Social, Physical, Intellectual and asked them to choose at least 1-2 goals in each category.
I LOVE the way this process helped create a more balanced “vision” for the year and now I wonder why we didn’t do this before!
Reviewing Goals & Family Planning
On Sunday nights we have a standing appointment for a “family meeting” to review the upcoming week’s calendar. It’s not super-formal but we do require our age 8+ up kids to participate in the discussion. (The younger ones play with quiet toys or watch a movie while we focus on the 8+ crew.)
We pop some popcorn, get out the cheese and crackers or cookies and milk, and gather around the kitchen table near a large whiteboard calendar. This is when we go over the week’s activities and plans.
The weekly family planning is one of the things that keeps me sane (people ALWAYS ask “how we do it” with six kids) and if we do happen to miss a week it feels like things fall apart and no one knows what’s going on. Which is basically the best way to invite the fighting, parental miscommunication, chaos, etc.
(Oh, you thought I was joking?! haha)
Sooooo, while there are a lot of family habits we’ve struggled to stay consistent with — this family meeting is one thing that’s non-negotiable for us.
Talking About Personal Goals
And as we calendar in the weekly activities, one thing we ask the kids is: “HOW are you doing on your personal goals?”
We look at their vision boards, chat about/evaluate things they did during the previous week to work towards their goal(s) and plan a few things they can do in the coming week to work toward their goal.
(This might sound TIME CONSUMING . . . but once it became part of our routine, it takes maybe 2-minutes per kid.)
SIDE NOTE: Now days, I usually just make a quick note in my planner so that I can remember what the kids plan to work on during the week (and if they’ll need help).
But when we had half the kids (and double the time?!) I used to sneak in a bit of writing each week and have the kids write or illustrate the things they’d like to work on during the week using this goal planning sheet.
Supporting Kids in their Goals
As we teach our kids how to set & accomplish goals, Jared and I try to take the role of a supporter.
I’m all about helping them see results and am not afraid to push them a little bit past their comfort zone. But as long as they’re safe and healthy, I’m also not afraid to let them fail or see the consequences of poor decision (lack of motivation, etc.).
Because I believe our role is to SUPPORT the best we can so that they’re more likely to learn what ACCOMPLISHMENT feels like.
This is why teaching kids how to set & accomplish goals requires regular check-ins to see where they are and what’s “next” and why we include it as part of our weekly family discussions.
We may find that next step requires some support from us — such as driving them to play practice or adding cupcake ingredients to the shopping list.
Real Life Example of “Support”
Lydia (8) wants to finish reading the Ivy and Bean series this year. She’s almost finished reading book five and tells me she wants to start book six soon. So we plan a day to go to the library this week to checkout the next couple books in the series.
She chooses the goal. I do my best to support her in making that goal happen.
Steps to Teach Kids How to Set and Accomplish Goals
I’m a big fan of teaching kids to be intentional about the life they want to create, but I also know personal growth and goal achievement is a skill that needs to be taught/learned.
Teaching kids how to set and accomplish goals through brainstorming, visualizing what the goal might LOOK like (possibly through creating a vision board) and then breaking the goal into smaller tasks is a habit they can develop NOW to become the kind of person they want to be.
P.S. This is a pretty good habit for us older people as well!
